Catherine Murray
I’ve been a commercial photographer, running my own photography business for the last 16 years. I work with companies to create imagery for advertising, such as product packaging, catalogs, billboards, banner ads and annual reports. I collaborate with clients to assess the needs and goals of each project. Are they looking to sell a specific product, gain brand awareness or update their design? Each photo shoot is unique and exciting.
I always knew I wanted to be a photographer, but it took me a while to decide what I most wanted to photograph. My first job was at a restaurant. I loved working with food so much, it was hard to leave. Becoming a food photographer combined the best of both worlds. Food is an infinitely fascinating subject. Growing, harvesting, cooking, baking, eating and sharing...I find I can connect with anyone over their love, or hate, of food.
I really enjoy the variety of work my job provides. Like many small business owners, I have a wide range of day-to-day tasks—idea creator, producer, equipment manager, lighting expert, product tester, stylist, shopper, accountant, hiring manager, writer, director, editor...it's rare for me to feel bored. The flip side is it's quite challenging to keep a balance between work and home, and between busy times and slow times. There are a lot of unknowns from one day to the next.
Weeks of planning go into a one-day photo shoot. There's a general level of stress for everyone on set. I’ve found NVC to be immensely helpful in these high-stakes moments. For example, a client wants to make a change that will likely cause the shoot to run late. In the past, I might've gotten defensive and kept my feelings to myself, leading to resentment. Or I might've tried talking them out of wanting to make the change. Now, I look for solutions to cover everyone's needs.
When I first heard about NVC, I was intrigued. A client of mine had attended a weekend workshop with his wife and had shared with me how transformational it was. I'm a highly sensitive person who seeks to understand the feelings of others. I worried the support I offered to others when they were going through tough times wasn't effective on the receiving end, no matter how good my intentions were. At the same time, I found it difficult to express my own feelings succinctly, especially in business settings. I was frustrated by the lack of words to explain what I was feeling in a way others could hear.
I went to my first NVC workshop in 2018 and joined a practice group that fall. I wanted to learn communication skills to handle conflict within my business and personal relationships, as well as address the increasing political divide.
The biggest change for me has been internal. I thought communication was soley an external action--me talking to another person. Yet my inner dialog was a loud, never-ending internal argument. I was either imagining hypothetical conversations of what the other person might think/say, or I would argue with myself, usually between two conflicting needs. For example, “I feel tired, but I also feel obligated to finish a project because I value honoring deadlines.” Now I can sort out those spiraling, repetitive thoughts into observations, feelings, needs, requests of myself and requests of others.
NVC has helped me navigate some of my toughest relationships. I'm now able to separate my own feelings from the feelings of others. Problem solving with clients has become more efficient and effective. I can sort out what drives me to make decisions and find ways to align my decisions with the needs of everyone involved. I feel more calm and hopeful when sharing feelings within romantic relationships. I can see that others aren't trying to be hurtful. I have tools to dig deeper and figure out what we're both needing to move forward together.
I'm grateful to all the individuals who have devoted time to sharing NVC with others. I hope to give back to the CCCO community as I continue to grow in my practice.