Tom Carlisi
carlisiandassociates@gmail.com
Tom is one of the Founding members of CCCO. He served as Vice Chair of the original CCCO Steering Committee in 2005, which helped introduce NVC to the central Ohio community, and planned for NVC Conferences with Marshall Rosenberg, PhD, and Founder of NVC. Tom also served on the CCCO Board and Advisory Council, and he has conducted or co-presented several NVC Training Workshops, sponsored by CCCO. Additionally, Tom is a Certified Trainer for the Center for Nonviolent Communication.
In his professional work, Tom is the CEO of Carlisi and Associates, LLC. He specializes in Conflict Prevention/Resolution. He has worked with “at risk” youth and families for over 45 years. Tom also works as a CNVC Coach & Trainer with businesses, schools, and community organizations. He has integrated NVC into his professional work, ranging from central Ohio to North America, Europe, Africa, and Asia. This article will feature some of Tom’s work in Ohio.
One of my passions is introducing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to youth. I am currently “in discussions" with several local youth organizations to offer NVC training workshops with their staff, which will integrate NVC into their respective after-school programs. One example is YMCA of Central Ohio. I am also working with the Ohio Council of Churches (OCC), as a Social Justice committee member. I am helping OCC to plan an online event this summer, which will feature Youth & the Impact of COVID-19. Social Justice themes will also be offered, in time, and plans are to introduce NVC into the programs.
One of my favorite projects was an 8-week program called “Young Peacebuilders”. I introduced NVC to about 15 youth, ages 9-12 years, at the South Side Boys & Girls Club (at Reeb Avenue Center). Each session was about 40 minutes. During the first evening, I asked the group, “What goes on around here that you don’t like?” Immediately several participants responded, “We bully each other […] We are selfish and won’t share our video games […] When we do something wrong, we try to lie ourselves out of it.” I then shared the NVC process, using the “No Fault Zone” Game Board & Cards (developed by Victoria Kindle-Hodson and Sura Hart, NVC Trainers). I invited the group to develop a Compassionate Club, and said to them, “It’s your club, you need to decide what agreements you are going to create and live by. What is important to you?”
What happened next surprised me, as they immediately responded by saying, “First, we need to be more respectful to staff […] We need to share […] We need to fess up when we do something wrong.” And my favorite response, “We need to be kind to each other.” I recalled something that Marshall Rosenburg shared in his trainings: Compassionate Giving is our natural state. These youth were demonstrating that trait, with their authentic, honest, and compassionate sharing.
Over the next 8 weeks, the youth group learned NVC, practiced with each other, and prepared to host a Peacebuilder Special Event, as part of their Service-Learning project. They also shared NVC with adult Rotary club members, their families, and local residents. As our time together came to an end, we had a celebration party. One young girl said, “Mr. Tom, I think if everyone took this course that we just did, we would have a more peaceful world.” I smiled at the young girl and asked her how old she was. She answered, “10”. I then asked if I cold quote her and she said “Yes!”
I have shared that story with people across in the US, Virgin Islands, Europe, Africa, and Asia. Through the early beginnings in CCCO, I have had the privilege (with my fellow Peacebuilders) of carrying out the mission of CCCO…and…to foster, as the young girl said, “a more peaceful world.”
